I used to be paranoid, but they’ve stopped following me…

So was the English/French inability to perform at Heineken level a massive conspiracy after all ? Was it just setting us all up for this endgame ?

The story from France and around the Premiership grounds is that they’re hard done by. Since they are the best teams around, playing the best rugby around, there has to be a REASON why they don’t routinely win the Heineken Cup.

And the REASON is devastatingly simple. The Irish have their teams kept out of harm’s way, playing the odd light warm up match against local knitting circles. The PRO 12, the story goes, is a thinly veiled attempt by the Celts to cheat the exceptionally rich French clubs out of much needed euros. In an attempt to keep the wolves from the door, the English Premiership clubs have just signed a deal with BT (honest…) that will guarantee that they accumulate cash at the same rate as their friends across the channel. But like Master Twist, they want some more. And part of the deal has guaranteed rights to Heineken matches, which is a bit like a market trader flogging you stuff off someone else’s stall on the basis that you’ve just bought your spuds from his…

Two (related) thoughts on all this.

1.       How much is this to do with what’s fair, and how much is this to do with suits acting like football executives? . No one is asking the bigger question here – what about the players in all this ? The more the suits rake in the cash, the more the game sells its soul.

2.       The likes of Leinster are not the best because the players are spending all their time on the chez longue, being fed freshly peeled grapes by dusky maidens. It is undeniably true that the Pro12  isn’t as gruelling as the French or English competitions, but much of that is to do with the attritional nature of the Premiership and Top 14 games. To assume that the English and French clubs would beat Leinster on their version of a level playing field (!)  is to deny a fact that is as plain as that ugly scab on the end of Steve Borthwick’s schnozzle – that O’Driscoll’s boys are a gifted outfit, brilliantly coached.