England’s Three Steps to Rugby Heaven ?

      1.       They must kick their goals, so Owen Farrell must play, and at 10.  Sorry, Mr Flood, but that cop out moment at the death against the Sarries has put you back in the queue. 

      2.       Tuilagi must play. England are so bereft of go forward that they are depending on charge downs to score tries. They’ll need more than that against the Welsh, who on current form WILL cross the whitewash. So another apology – this time to Brad Barritt. The Sarries hard man has shown that he is no soft centre, but in attack this England back line look about as likely to score as Nick Clegg at a party at your local Student Union.

3.       Win the battle in the air – catch and return the kicks with interest, Mr Foden, and mess up the Welsh line out, Mr Croft, and your boys may stand a chance. If you’re still in the game at the hour mark, Farrell’s boot may see you exploiting home advantage.

“With ice, sir ?”

Champagne Charlie leaves Italians hung over

The snow covered pitch in Rome made viewing difficult this weekend, but spare a thought for the 70,000 who braved the elements to watch a rather turgid game. Home fans were left feeling distinctly “What if…?” by the whole affair. In the early part of the second half, the Italians were (metaphorically) basking in the warm glow of a clear lead, courtesy of the efforts of their grizzled forwards  and a couple of well rubbed greens. The English looked as clueless as a Greek Finance Minister who had just been handed a calculator. Just like last weekend, in fact.

 And,  just like last weekend, the God of Chargedowns intervened. The game changed at that moment. From that point on, the home side looked shell shocked. It may have been advanced hypothermia, but the English deserve credit for capitalising on the added space afforded to them. They picked up the pace, and the Italians began to concede penalties and ship points. Burton was replaced by Botes, and let’s just say that there was little chance of the banjo and the cow’s arse coming into any contact at any point, so the game slipped away. Lancaster will be a relieved man, but he has to move this side on from a point where they regard the cross kick and the charge down as their “go to” scoring moves.

With the Stade de France occupied by an army of brass monkeys wielding welding rods, it was left to the match at the Millenium to warm us up, and, boy, did it deliver.  Three-all at half time hardly begins to tell the story. Without Warburton at the breakdown, Rennie was a real thistle in the side of the Welsh, and the Scots played with the sort of gay abandon normally reserved for Mardi Gras. Again, there was a turning point. An innocuous fumble by Cusiter from the kick off, and the Welsh had field position. They pounced, and the direction of the game was decided. There was a snowstorm of yellow cards as the Scots buckled under the focussed Welsh onslaught that followed. For all Robinson’s pounding of the wall, it has to be said that the ref was given little choice by the offences committed by De Luca and Lamont.

Three strikes and the Scots were out. Robinson will hate the tag of plucky losers, and will point to the yellow cards as the difference in the game, but in truth that’s exactly where he is. There is more than a glimmer of hope, however. When they get it right, someone is going to get a right royal Scottish larruping from this side. Ditto the Welsh, who are still to play at anything near their World Cup best. The champagne is still on ice.

Parks - a Life.

Jim White’s piece in today’s Times on Dan Parks is interesting in that it is a rarity to see anyone defending the Aussie born fly half. Rare outside fellow players, that is. Former colleagues within the Scotland set up, as well as Blues and Glasgow team mates, have always valued his ability to kick the corners and keep the scoreboard ticking over. Dai Young bought him to Cardiff for exactly these reasons – the Blues’ tendency to dominate games that they went on to lose, particularly in the Magners, was a real area of concern. Frustratingly, the acquisition of Parks has not solved this problem.


But there have always been doubts about the adopted Scot's ability to get a backline running – the same sort of doubts that have afflicted Jonny Wilkinson, in fact. Folk prefer their fly halves to be more Dandy Dan than the Desperate Dan we saw last weekend at Murrayfield. The pundits’ choice of top World Cup 10’s would have been the other Dan (before he was crocked) and Rhys Priestland – both primarily running, passing fly halves that would keep a defensive coach on the edge of his seat. The latter does share Park’s tendency to kick low – great in windy conditions, but convenient for the opposition charge down merchants. So Priestland keeps fans on the edge of seats for the wrong reasons, too.

So how will Scotland fare in life after Parks ? To ask Laidlaw to step into the position after such a brief spell in the 10 jersey is either testament to Robinson’s faith in the young man’s ability, or simply an admission that the cupboard is pretty bare. He looked lively against England, however, and came within a haggis skin of scoring. I suspect, however, that it is the absence of tighthead Murray that will cost Scotland dear. Although his replacement Geoff Cross is a handful in the loose, he doesn’t have Murray’s ability to dominate at scrumtime, and the Welsh backline will be difficult to subdue off the back of stable scrum ball. In historical terms, expect a whiff of Bannockburn for a period, then the closing stages of Flodden.

Wayne’s World of Woe

The reaction to Wales’ stunning win at the Aviva has unfortunately focused on the performance of referee Wayne Barnes. His decision (indecision ?) to pull out the yellow rather than the red card for Bradley Davies’ X Rated tip tackle has been/will be the game’s major talking point. More generally, he bottled the decision on what looked to be a try early in the game for the excellent Ryan Jones, and even called for the TMO for a George North try that even my mother in law would have given the thumbs up to.

The Welsh back line looked full of intent. Priestland, despite having an off day with the boot, was again the catalyst for some razor sharp handling. When that level of skill and athleticism is allied to the serious bulk of players such as Roberts, Davies and Phillips, you can appreciate that the Scottish midfield won’t sleep easily during the week. And “Gorgeous George” North ? His demolition of the Irish line, followed by the deft pass out of the back of the hand to Jon Davies is the Sports Editor’s dream, a super slow mo to be shown for ever more. Got to love North Walians...

Never mind the weather...the 6 Nations will warm us up !

Robert Kitson's article in the Guardian is a pretty neat summary of my feelings on the battles to come. Injuries have already cut Wales and England to the bone. Domestic progress by Scottish and Italian sides won't be enough to raise the bar at international level. So it's down to Ireland and France. If the trio of O'Brien, Ferris and Heaslip come through tomorrow's revenge mission against what's left of Sam's WC semi finalists, you have to fancy their chances. Overall, however, the French under an intelligent, respected coach such as St Andre are bound to be a force. For too long they have tinkered with selection, paricularly at half back. Now the players have a chance of knowing where they stand, secure in the knowledge that the guy making all the big decisions from the stand has some sort of clue as to what he's doing. With such a powerful player base, and a rich vein of talent on the rise, Les Bleues will be a tough proposition for anyone. Next week's game against O'Connell's buoys will be the key match of this year's 6 Nations, and I have a ticket for what I hope will be the best game - Wales at home to the French on the last weekend. Allez les Rouges !